The first few days in the hospital, Miles slept a lot and of course, I had no idea what I was doing. Didn't know how to hold him, didn't know how to offer the breast to him, and didn't seem to have much output (nor did he). The whole time, my mom kept saying, "Don't worry. Relax. It takes one or two weeks for you both to learn how to do it." I truly believed that it would take us time to both learn the ropes. The bummer was that because it was a holiday weekend, the lactation consultant at the hospital was not around the whole time I was. Regardless, when we left the hospital, Miles was at 6 lbs. 10 oz. (down from his birth weight of 6 lbs. 15 oz.). Once we got home, things were still frustrating for both Miles and I. I was pretty 'weepy' at the start of the week. Finally, my milk came in on Tuesday, and I felt like he was starting to get the hang of breast feeding. He was going for about 7 minutes per side at about 2/3rds of the feedings, but still getting frustrated at the breast sometimes. On Wednesday morning, we went to the doctor for a follow-up and found out that he weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz. The pediatrician said that losing more than 10 percent body weight was his cutoff for recommending supplemental feeding with a bottle.
I was hesitant to try this (due to the mythical beast called "nipple confusion"), but because Miles was losing weight so fast, we started him on expressed milk from a bottle on the next feeding. Boy oh boy, did he love the bottle! We were feeding him on a 3 hour schedule, approx. 2 oz at a time. He was spitting up about 1 oz at about 1/3 of the feedings. This freaked us out! It was probably just that we were overfeeding him at this point. Poor little guy, went from eating hardly anything to 16oz. a day. So, on Friday we went back and he had gained 3 oz back. The doctor was quite pleased with this. This was a relief in some regard, but he took to the bottle so well, he was 100% refusing the breast at this point. We decided to call a lactation consultant and meet with her on Friday afternoon.
The lactation consultant was great. She normalized any feelings of inadequacy that I had and told me that there was nothing wrong with my body or milk supply. This was a really important thing for me to hear I think (even though my mom kept saying this throughout this process). She tried to get Miles to feed from the breast using most of her "tricks." She said he had "character" and was impressed with his resolve. So, she sent us home with a syringe attached to a tube, a breast shield, and some confidence that, although it may take some time (and a litany of conditioned stages), he would eventually get it.
We were pretty exhausted that each feeding was lasting about 1 hour to get done with all the supplies and tactics, plus I was pumping about every 1 1/2 hrs to keep up the milk supply. On Saturday, we contemplated giving up and researched exclusively expressed milk feeding strategies. As you might tell, we were at the peak of our desperation around this time.
On Sunday, we drew a line in the sand and said that we were going to give it one more try and we believed the best strategy was to get rid of all plastic nipples for 24 hours (sort of a cold turkey strategy) and see how it went. After all, this was important to us and we thought that we needed to start developing the ability to have more resolve than our 10 day old son.
So, Andrew devised a finger feeding mechanism based on things he had read online.
Our strategy was to finger feed for 1 oz. and then put Miles on the au naturale boob for a bit (even if he didn't eat a lot) and then go back and forth until he had had at least 1 1/2 oz from the syringe (to be sure he was getting enough to eat). After about 18 hours of this approach, Miles was actually starting out with the breast and then moving to the syringe. Finally, after about 30 hours, he was exclusively feeding from the breast! We were beyond excited!
It has been a few days and things are going great. His weight is now up to 6 lbs. 8 oz. and his output (i.e., poopie diapers) is good. On Monday we went back to the lactation consultant to thank her and show her how good Miles was doing. She said she couldn't believe it was the same kid! We are so impressed that Miles appears to be a quick learner.
Anyway, we are hoping to keep up the breastfeeding as long as we can. Of course, we will need to supplement with expressed milk once he starts day care in August, but we are hoping to wait as long as possible to reintroduce the bottle, just to be sure he doesn't fall off the wagon again.
Thanks for sharing your story Amelia. I think it is really important for parents to share their experiences of joy and frustration in caring for newborns. It is incredible but also really, really hard. And it is important for new parents to have a realistic idea that while things may not go smoothly at first, most babies get the hang of it. But boy oh boy is it an emotional roller coaster before you get to that point. I admire your perseverance and creativity. You and Andrew are great parents!
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